Do you recall ever having an interaction / disagreement /argument with someone where you said / could have said / thought that they were not listening or were being combative? Anything thing along those lines sound familiar?
Think for a moment about this concept "It's not about you." We all come into relationships and interactions with a perspective. Our life experience shapes that perspective, our belief system and our automatic thoughts. Therefore, in it's most simplistic fashion everything that another person says, how they behave, think, etc before, during or after an interaction with you really has little to do with you. Meaning, you are not the cause of their responses (internal or external). You may say something that gets a big reaction or that triggers something but that means you hit something pertinent to them whether you know it or not.
The same of course holds true for you. Your reactions are based on your life experiences. The person you have the relationship with does not 'make' you feel a something based on their behavior. That is simply your response.
The reason I'm sharing this thought is to give you a bit of insight on how you might talk yourself into objectivity during or following an interaction.
